I set the goal to create holiday traditions back in October when I thought that the upcoming year would unfold quite differently. I was struggling to be content living in Florida, far away from family and friends, so I challenged myself to set a few goals that would push me to make the most of my situation.
Recently celebrating Thanksgiving prompted me to stop and think about what I am grateful for. As I’ve shared before, this year has had its fair share of low points, so I wanted to use the week of Thanksgiving as an opportunity to look back and focus on what I am thankful for in spite of the rough times I experienced. As I wrote my list of thankfulness, I was amazed to see just how blessed I am.
This week, in between sweating profusely in 90-degree weather, I began to brace myself for the oncoming cold front that was rapidly gaining traction on Florida news stations. It seemed that every TV I saw featured graphs showing a digital blue layer moving across the state to signify the oncoming cold front that was sure to shock state residents as it moved eastward.
Today I want to share something I wrote and then proceeded to keep to myself for over four years. I wrote it at a time when I was vulnerable and searching, and I have been scared to share it because I knew that doing so would highlight the flaws I wish weren’t still so visible in my life. I would have probably continued keeping it to myself if it weren’t for the events of recent weeks, but before I dive into that story, here is what I wrote in July 2014:
My goal to “join a group” has hung over my head throughout the past year. This is primarily because I would go back and forth on which group to join. I initially considered joining a running club, but I decided against this after straining my knee and observing how unnecessarily energetic those in athletic clubs tend to be. So after the dream of joining a weekly running club ended, I began to set my sights on something much more sedentary. And that was when I decided to join a book club.
Of all the goals that I set in October 2017, the one to “Put an end to any grudges” has intimated me the most. This is because I tend to cling to grudges with the vice-like grip of a toddler clutching their favorite toy. Knowing this as I planned the upcoming year’s goals, I decided to attempt to abolish this practice.
Oh, hello there! I didn’t notice you come into my kitchen. But since you’re already here, why don’t you grab a seat and join me while I prepare some delicious food!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how I imagine I would start my cooking show if the Food Network would ever get around to greenlighting my pilot. And yes, I would feign surprise at my guest’s arrival every single episode. Anyway, on to the matter at hand.
I was a junior in college when I decided to try a radical form of exercise: 80’s workout videos. I was sitting on my bed thinking about my resolution to work out that year but was still unwilling to go to the gym. Faced with this conundrum, I racked my brain for a gym alternative. It was not long before memories flooded into my mind of times spent working out to old Richard Simmons DVDs.
I wrote a while back about how I was going to read the book War & Peace for my “read a book that intimidates me” goal. Well, it turns out that not only was it intimidating, but it was also incredibly dull (at least the thirteen pages that I read were). Because of this, I was going back and forth about giving that specific book up when another book came along to take its place.
Tonight found me spending time with my siblings while visiting family in New York for the weekend. We had the usual nice time punctuated by jokes and stories, but through it all, I couldn’t help but feel a flood of nostalgia about childhood.