It’s been 144 days since I wrote Thank U, Next (the blog post, not the chart-topper sung by Ariana Grande). And while I wish I could come on here and write about how the past few months have been full of aha moments and unwavering positivity, I’d be lying if I gave that impression.
Following my resignation in May, I moved to Western New York to regroup before coming back down to Florida to begin a full-time operations management position at a legal office. I did so knowing that the transition was a much-needed change in my life, but I still struggled to come to terms with it.
Much of that struggle came from the belief I had pulled the plug on the life I’d carefully curated and was watching it crumble. I nearly put an end to my writing, discontinued my goals, and retreated into a dark hole where the confidence that took years to build was slowly chipped away. There were times when I wondered if the bleak state of mind would ever pass, but I have finally begun to see the purpose behind what happened.
My life isn’t what I thought it would be nine months ago, but I write that with relief as I think about where I’ve been and where I’m going. I have seen the hand of God in my life in ways I never thought possible, and I now have a deeper understanding of the peace that comes from Him. My five-year plan being altered wasn’t something I asked for, but it was probably for the best that this overly-planned guy had some plans change. This was further reinforced by the wisdom that I found in Isaiah 55:8-9:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
So what’s next? Searing takes on American politics? Cynical reviews of Oscar-bait films? A collection of essays titled Florida: Shopping with the Meth Addicts and the Millionaires? Sorry to disappoint, but no. I plan on diving back into my tradition of setting goals that correlate with my age, so get ready for a set of 25 goals that I plan on tackling over the next year. Sure, there may be some opinionated pieces about Florida traffic patterns thrown in, but overall, I want to refocus on accomplishing goals since doing so has always made my life more purposeful.
Lastly, I want to thank you for sticking around through my silence. It means a lot to know that I have such a robust support system in place. Although I hope to avoid a similar experience to the one I went through this year, I know there was value in it, and I cannot wait to share those lessons, along with the many waiting to be learned, in future posts.